[twenty-one]

James was a bit more short than a slender man could truly be, but he sure was slim. I remember the day he turned twenty and I lifted him over my shoulders the same way I did when he turned twelve. Nothing in the way he talked made him seem small though. He knew what he was talking about, he sure did. Whenever anyone had a problem, he'd figure out what was right and if they couldn't settle it like that, well he'd pick a side and fight. No one wanted to fight James either, sweet guy like that, and no one wants to get beat by the small guy. Damn, he was swell. I remember the last letter he wrote me. He talked on and on about how he only had a couple months 'til we could down pint after pint at the Red Cavern down the road. He said we'd play a game of ball to decide on the tab. I promised myself I'd let him win a game so I could finally buy my little bro a beer, hell maybe even a whiskey. We never did play a game, o'course.
The next letter I got wasn't written in Jamie's casual scrawl, but typed by some secretary, sympathetically announcing how James G. Pavon was shot down in the line of duty. If I'm honest, I'm glad he died out there, with the honor he deserved, didn't come home in pieces like some of them. You can't look a man with no legs in the eyes. I guess you can't look a dead man in the eyes either, but at least you don't feel so damn guilty.

[twenty]

tantalizing,
you stroke my
bruised,
scabbed
legs and
make me forget.
our cares-
all but free
your lips
on mine
these sunshine days,
make me forget.
new love
sweet,
enticing,
charming
you found me and
make me forget.
that the days
are not always
bright,
blue,
brilliant
you make me forget.

[nineteen]

her eyes roll back as soon as his warm hands touch the small of her back, her neck falling,
immediately drawing his lips.
- nip - suck - graze - moan -
such fanciful frenzy she could never tire of experiencing
building heat
rapid breath
her desire pulsed within
the glint of fire in her eyes driving him mad
her desire so
overwhelmingexplosiveimmense
together, sweltering
indulging in each others tastes


[incompleted 6/6]

[eighteen]

With each wash, your scent fades from my bed sheets and I can remember how to live like I did before you ruined me. I smile freely and pleasantly, without a passionate joy. I sulk and dwell, without true despair.
I am halfway there: the painful ache now throbs and I can breathe in this moment.
Each fresh load of laundry cleans the wounds, more forcefully than the last.
Soon I shall be all but free.
Soon I shall be at the laundromat once more, washing another scent from these sheets.

[seventeen]

deleted this one.

[sixteen]

"None of it matters! None of it!" she whimpered into her open palms.

Pulling each digit away from her melting face, he implored, "It matters to you. Isn't that something spectacular in itself?"

She guessed it was, a notion to quell her despair if only for a small while.

[fifteen]

A man once asked me if I'd rather be heartless or have my heart on my sleeve.
I told him I'd be dead either way.

[fourteen]

I miss you at night.

I've let my guard down and my thoughts drift and if I'm not careful they float to you.
I watch my memories roll on a hazy movie reel. When I'm particularly down, my vision blurs just a little and I close my eyes with the feel of your hands on my curves and I wish it were real. Just once more.

But it won't be.
Because we promised.
Because we agreed it would be too painful.
But it's still painful.